We have all felt it. In fact, I’m sure many of us have experienced it several times. I know I certainly have.
Love, by dictionary definition is, “a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.” To me there is no question we fall in love the same, give or take a few subtle differences. And I don’t mean circumstances surrounding when or who. If that were the case, there wouldn’t be enough internet left in order to discus all the ins and outs. What I am referring to is the feeling we have when we find love – the butterflies and the overwhelming emotion of seeing everything again for the first time.
Falling in love is basically the same for everyone. The adoration, the getting to know one another, the connection. We all find a ‘partner in crime’ who we’d fight tooth and nail for. That’s our person. And it’s forever.
We may think through experience, one love is stronger than another but that’s only because of what takes place in the relationship during the journey. The bumps and obstacles and how they’re dealt with is what creates the bonds or boundaries. Each spark ignites a flame. It’s simple science. What separates us all is how love breaks. The pieces of a broken heart never fall the same. And those jagged pieces won’t ever fit together perfectly again – no matter how hard we try. It’s the scars that make us unique. It’s how we deal with the pain that makes it our own.
Tenderness has no substitute. It’s why we hang on, even when the end has been reached. We try to find just a hint of what it felt like to be new again. My mother once gave me a short piece of advice at the beginning of a budding relationship. She told me, “remember how you feel today, how full your heart is, because you’ll need it to look back on when the days together seem a little too long.”
We all have those days and we either get through them or the relationship starts to deteriorate. Love, however, doesn’t die alone – we kill it.
Long term relationships just don’t stop. The end comes only after little bits of trust break away over time. We all need to give just a little bit more of ourselves each day. Don’t become lazy and more importantly, don’t allow yourself to be blind for the sake of not being alone. We need to pay attention to the signs. We need to pick up on changes in our partner’s pattern. There’s no true fire way to ensure everlasting love. But if you treat each day as if it’s the first, you will have a higher likelihood of reaching the last, happy and together.
What’s your love story? Drop it in the comments below.
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Jay Long’s books are availble through all online book retailers worldwide or by visiting the BOOKS section of this website.
My love story begins when I was just a freshman in college. I met my (now ex) husband the very first month of school, at age 18, and 1 ½ years later we were married. I was very happy and we spent as much time as possible together, left love notes for one another, and even took classes together. There was a time, early in our relationship where I had a choice to make at the fork in the road, and today (knowing what I know, now), I would have made a different choice. At that age, it is impossible to fathom what it truly means to say, “for better, for worse…in sickness, in health…until death do we part”.
Like any relationship there were good times and bad times…he acquired a brain injury, which changed so much in the way we communicated, how we could relate to one another, and the financial structure of our marriage; we had a beautiful daughter and spent the rest of our marriage supporting her activities at the loss of our togetherness. Over the years, it became less of a love story and more of a “we’re in this together” lifestyle. I knew that we had drifted apart and asked him to go out on dates so we could re-establish ‘us’, but he was just too busy; I suggested to him that things were not as they should be between us and I wanted to fix them, and he refused to consider changes. Finally, I left…the saddest part of this story is that after 31 years of marriage, neither one of us fought to save it.
I still believe in love and marriage…and while I never really felt the ‘butterflies in my stomach’ with my ex-husband, I’m holding out for that now, even at my age.
I love this! I have often wondered if the things you write come from something you have been through, or if it is just the storyteller in you. I cannot imagine you writing the way you do if you had not felt the passion, pain, or joy in those pages. I don’t know how you do it. How do you reveal so much of yourself that easily? The words are so personal I feel them when I read them.
There are things I feel that I will not write down on paper simply because I don’t want anyone to see inside my heart and soul. Well, not just anyone, but the people who caused those feelings in me. Whether love, passion, hurt, or anger, it’s difficult to let it out. I have desk drawers full of small pieces of myself that I can’t seem to finish. You inspire me to “bleed at my typewriter.”
I just wanted you know that your poetry is more than pretty words about passion and pain. It gives me courage. I’m sure there are many who would say the same. Thank you for being brave enough to share yourself with strangers, and for making me remember what love and passion once made me feel.
Teresa, thank you very much for your kind words. Your reply shows you can certainly share your feelings with others. I like that.
Most of my writing has some piece of autobiographical pieces to it all. Whether I have been able to recreate the emotion or tapped into a feeling, a setting, a memmory, it’s all how my mind sees it. I can’t take credit for all of it, as I have definitely used the ‘stories’ of others to write some of my pieces. Even strangers I’ve come across in a crowded space – I try and tell ‘their’ story. I am very intune with emotion and feelings, so I find the storyteller in me can tap into situations and draw the rawness from them. I’m blessed in that way. I am also blessed by yourself and others who relate to what I write and find solace in the words.
Thank you again and I hope you continue to “bleed” if even just for yourself.
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the website is really good.
I have loved and been loved but left. I never been in love. I’m still waiting.
Everyone loves it when folks get together and share
opinions. Great blog, stick with it!